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J O U R N A L
Cartography of inner country
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In There / Out There
At the heart of being lies a dynamic tension: a dance between a centripetal force - a drawing inwards towards a gravitational centre, a...

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Structured Fluidity
Tolkien reminds us that “not all who wander are lost”. Can I reframe this current meandering, this drift through uncertainty, as...

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Convergence and Separation
I said, I just want to lie down and dream all day. Reality will never be as good as my imagined universe. ___ said, When you get those...

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The Rose that Grew from Concrete
For five years, I worked on a question that no one believed in. I was a Nobody, a Nothing that posed no threat, so they didn't care about...

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Analogue System in a Digital World
I really feel like I need to get off social media. I don't even want to check it and yet I find myself doing so compulsively. My hand,...

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Self-stuff
I search for the I – the italicised I, the I that seems to exist beyond the grammatical I, the self-stuff that somehow arises from the...

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The Chosen Myth
I replaced religion with scientific discourse and rational thought, but that left a certain emptiness that I have not been able to fill....

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The Great Dichotomy
Life is completely meaningless because of its transience and finitude. Life is the only meaningful thing because of its transience and...

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Encounters
I. The others have a smoke outside and then we go back into the bandroom. ____ comes up beside me, holding out his beer. I take a sip....

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However long
However long it was, it was a long time. What tense does one use to describe this warping of inner time? Where one exists in a constant...

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Alongside, in parallel, with.
Alongside, in parallel, with. Not quite synonymous with together. Quite the contrary, in fact. In parallel actually implies a degree of...

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A Thing of the Highest Order
A moment yesterday, under bright lights, in the crowd, an arm around me, my body cradled; I will protect you. There was nothing...

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The Measured Parameter
I try to quantify my misery, objectify it, apply the same scientific logic that is wont in my profession to mechanise it, that I may come...

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My Strange Body
When I was tiny, I hated the thing enclosed in always-too-large clothes that hung like sacks off me. Cloth bags drowning the emaciated...

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Sunset on the Hill
What ancient synapse, what remnant of my old reptilian brain, wondered at the tessellations of light and shadow and felt something move...

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(I'm)material
The scientist within me is grounded in the primacy of matter as the sole and ultimate substance of the universe. Although I wonder at the...

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The hedonic treadmill
Is it our greatest asset or our most fatal flaw? This perpetual and epicurean need for objects to obsess over, to fantasise about, to...

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Flow.
Had a serene and beautiful morning run today. It was magical: the stillness of the air, the emerald green surface of the creek reflecting...

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My Fear
Is that my words will fall into an abyss of nothingness created out of so muchness. When there is saturation, there is a loss of signal....

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On the Subject of a Tender Moment
You held me for a little longer than necessary, a little too short for my liking. The warmth of your body was a pleasant surprise. It was...

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